Title OUCH!!! I rode my bike one day down the footpath. I fell off my bike and broke my funny bone. A boy came running down the footpath and said “wake up”. I did not wake up. He called emergency services. Please I need a hospital car I’ve got a person on the ground please help”. They came the hospital people. They took me to hospital and went In a private room. A few days later I woke up and I had a fake elbow and then I got a taxi home. I hopped into my pj’s and then hopped into bed. When I woke up I went back to the hospital. I got my fake elbow taken off and had surgery to get It fixed back to normal. When I woke up I said ouch!!! My elbow squeaking. When I went home my elbow was squeaking until 2 weeks and then lived happily ever after. from Ethan H ;-)
Kia ora Ethan it's Jake here.
ReplyDeleteJust saying a little bit of your story doesn't make sense because you have said. They came the hospital people.
Maybe next time you could re-read your story so that it makes sense.
Bula Vinaka Ethan it's Milan from Rimu class!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good story. When I was reading the story I could imagine that you broke you'r arm and the hospital people fixed it and planted a fake elbow. I've seen a lot of capitals when you started every sentence and I saw lot's of full stops and a lot of capitals which is good. You could put something different than full stops, but the story is really good and has been spelled really good.